YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE
~ “You are exactly where you should be.”
God
13th September, 2021.
It seems that it is the norm to never fully be satisfied with our present. You look around at what others are doing and think ‘I need to be doing that’, you wonder ‘when is this going to happen for me’ or you feel like you are failing at life. I am not saying that you should not set SMART goals and work towards them, dream new dreams and fulfill them but being content at where you’re at has to be just as important. I have only been confident about where I am in life in the last three years and I deeply believe those words for my life today and dare I say even for yours. I won’t lie the main contributing factor was hearing those words from God that my life is not delayed and that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. As usual I am sharing with you some moments in my life that speak to this and I hope it truly connects with you.
When I was child, I was extremely shy. Lord knows my two closest friends, Kelline and Charissa, had to be from birth because would I have made friends tho? Jk. I am blessed to have them in my life since 1992 although, I only remember them from three years old.🤭 When you’re growing up together in this way, you automatically think that you’re going to do everything together. We’re going to do the same things, like the same things and our timelines in life would be the same. Well, this has not been my life and from the outside looking in someone could think that I am trailing behind them. I may have believed this at some point to.
An example from my childhood was not getting baptized the same time that they did. Kelline and Charissa decided to get baptized in their early teen years and although I attended church, I just felt like I did not want to follow in their steps. I felt like I would have been a hypocrite if I decided to make that decision as I was not ready. I got several remarks from the adults in church when they realized I was not attending baptism classes with them. “Look Kelline going to baptism class, why yuh not going?’ Almost every Sunday I was asked this question. I was literally pushed from the entrance of my church to the building next door to attend a class. People assumed that just because my friends were doing it, I should be there too. I sat in the class, I even answered a question to which the facilitator said, “See you should be here,” and then I never went back. Most of the times, the outside voices are so loud, how do you begin hearing your own voice. I was confused because I felt that people were forcing me to do something that should have been a personal decision. Happy to say my parents never forced me. I made the decision at sixteen years old to get baptized because I wanted to be committed to God and water baptism was that public declaration of such decision. That was probably a major incident in my adolescence that created the narrative for myself that I do things a few steps behind friends.
If you read my blogpost entitled ‘Graduating Class of 2020’ then you would have learnt that I took nine years give or take a two-year break to obtain a Bsc Accounting. When I entered the University of the West Indies (UWI) with Kelline and my close friends from Modec (high school), I believed we would all finish within the three-year period, have this amazing campus and hall life and be one of those thousands of students to find that dream job after graduating. Simply put, that never happened. Actually, all my friends, every single one of them, my sister, my sister’s friends, my sister’s boyfriend, everybody graduated before me. Thankfully, we now teach that there are so many other ways to be successful in life but the messaging from since I was a child was the route of primary, secondary and tertiary education. It was very natural to be ashamed, felt like I completely failed and I was not as smart as I thought. In addition, I developed anxiety surrounding education and fell into a severe depressive state. When I received the final Required to Withdraw (RTW) I decided I would not go back when the year away from school was completed. Two years passed and it was only the Lord’s nudging and the leading by the Holy Spirit that I chose to complete my degree. It was more than just obtaining a degree for me. It was about unlocking a level of confidence and a sense of self-worth that I did not have for a very long time. As well as, giving me the freedom I needed from the severe anxiety. It was not about finally having a degree like my friends and family. The beauty I saw in experiencing this was spreading the message that it is never too late to finish what you’ve started. The reality is that a lot of persons experience some variation of what I went through and they need to know that they are not alone in this. They are not the only ones going through failing and not graduating “on time.”
I know I am not alone with this one. Most of us have had the thoughts that we’d be married probably around 25, have at least 1 child, the house, the car etc. Well guys, not my life! Kelline and Charissa are married to their forever loves, live in their own spaces, have their cars, no kids (waiting on the kids to be named Brianna🙃) and I am extremely happy for them. Actually, I have a lot of friends in this stage in life, and I do not even have a boyfriend. I have gotten the question, ‘how does this make you feel?’ I even got, “You like to be around your married friends so?” I can confidently say that it truly does not bother me that I am single, alright I said it very single, and friends around me are in healthy boyfriend- girlfriend relationships and marriages. I do desire that for my life but I won’t believe that I am less than because I live differently to most. I still live at home, no car and up until recently shared a room and bed with my sister. I must say I am walking into my 30’s very excited and hopeful about my future.
I think it is important to be content with your present amidst working towards old or new goals. That ‘never feeling satisfied’ with your life is draining and robbing you of your joy. You are not where your friends or family members are and it is ok! You are still gaining some level of advanced studies, you are open to dating and meeting your person, you are saving towards buying a car or moving out etc. Please know that where you are is exactly where you should be. Your life is your life to be lived, just as your friends’ lives are theirs to live. Therefore, do so intentionally. I encourage you that I am very confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6. Keep pressing on while knowing this very minute that you are where you should be in your life. I also encourage you that all things work together for good as you love God. Romans 8:28. Loving and trusting God have been the keys to knowing this for my life.
❤Bri
